Why Have Kids?

One has to wonder about some parents and why they even bother to have kids. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “I can’t wait for school to start,” or worse, “I can’t stand to be around my kids all day long.”

It saddens me to hear parents talk this way about their own children and often they say such things within hearing of their little dears. Oh, how that must hurt to hear your own parent say such a thing. Karen, recently enrolled her young son into a local head start program, not for any perceived benefit to her son, but simply so that she could get a break and not have to “deal” with him all day.

Get Them Moving

When a child 2-4 years of age begins to act out, it is normally because the child is either imitating an older sibling or the child is bored and is not getting enough exercise and physical stimulation. You can’t simply plop your 2-year-old in front of the boob tube and expect him not to act out at some point during the day.

Children – especially boys need to move around, they need to climb, jump, run and hop, which is exactly why more boys have trouble in school than girls. Boys aren’t made to sit still and listen. They are made for action, the more they get, the better they like it.

Unruly Children

When an older child acts out and becomes unruly it is normally because they have spent too much time with other ill-behaved children their own age.

Of course what most parents fail to realize, is that the main reason most parents can’t stand to be around their own children is because of the school system. After all what do you expect when you put 30 children in a classroom together? If you think the school work is dumbed down, to the lowest common denominator – What do you think happens to manners, communication skills and common courtesy?

A parent of a public schooled child needs a lexicon simply to talk to their child. I supposed that much hasn’t changed over the years but as I grow older, so does my frustration level because of the lack of communication skills displayed by children and young adults alike.

Building Bonds

If the child is new to homeschooling and difficult to communicate with it is often due to a parent that expects certain results from that child. The transition from school to home can be a difficult one. The parent and child are often little more than strangers, who must get to know one another again and learn to enjoy one another’s company. It can be a strange and difficult process that requires patience and understanding from the parent.

I enjoy having my son home and hearing about his latest discoveries. I can’t even fathom missing all his firsts. His vocabulary never ceases to astound me. I love it when he experiments with a new word, even when he doesn’t get it quite right. His father and I are there to guide and inspire him and help him in his understanding of the English language. More importantly, he is learning to express himself, something that will serve him well his entire life.

If you find yourself saying, “I can’t stand to be with my child all-day-long.” I challenge you to examine your relationship with your child more closely and take corrective actions today. It takes a lifetime to build a relationship with your child. If you find that your relationship doesn’t measure up, it’s not too late to make significant changes.

Homework Struggles

For starters, the only interaction some parents have with their children is the nightly struggle over homework. This is sad. There is more to life than schoolwork. Begin today and make it a point to have a fun relaxing evening with your child, especially if they are in school all day. Take the time to really listen to what they have to say.

If your child asks for help with their homework, help. If not, leave them to it. Homework is not the parents’ responsibility. It belongs to your child. I know many parents feel the need to make sure their son or daughter finishes their homework. While a young child may need assistance, by the time a student gets to fifth or sixth grade the student should be able to regulate their own time and be responsible to complete their own homework assignments.

Stevie is 14-years-old. Each evening he comes home from school only to fight over school work, grades and nightly homework with his overly-critical mother. This constant fighting is certainly eating away at any chance he has at developing a close, loving relationship with mom. Most evenings Stevie can be found sulking around the house in a foul mood.

Setting Goals

While most of us will agree that an education is important, it’s not worth sacrificing our relationship with our child. As schools invent more ways to invade family life those with children attending public schools will find it more and more difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with their child. This is one reason why so many parents have decided to begin homeschooling their children or risk losing them forever to the school system. A sacrifice many of us simply aren’t willing to make.

Successful parenting requires that we keep things in perspective and not lose sight of our goals. Many parents find that we are constantly redefining our goals and exactly what is important to our family. Other parents simply have no established goals, concerning their children.

Your child is a real person, with dreams and goals, who will one day grow up to live his or her own life. No one will care what his grades were in school, when he is 40, but they will care about his integrity, loyalty and personal work ethic. As a parent you can use your influence to promote the qualities you would like to see your child exhibit or you can push your child to rebel in ways you never imagined.

Having and maintaining a close relationship with a child takes time, nurturing and heaps of love mixed in. Don’t let school drive a wedge between you and your child. Define your goals and create a plan to implement them in a way that will encourage and inspire your child to achieve greatness.